How To Enjoy Your Teenager
by Cindy Hanna

 “I cannot stand my teenagers!”  
This exasperated declaration has escaped many a parent’s lips.
As the mother of four children, three of whom are teenagers, apparently, I engage in aberrant behavior and enjoy my teens.  Although we do have our moments of “disharmony”, I embrace these encounters as living proof that my teenagers are willing to stand their ground to fight for that which they believe.

As parents, it is our duty to prepare our children for the eventuality that they will become truly self-sufficient preferably before the age of thirty.  Hopefully, by the time our young become teenagers, we have astutely laid a mosaic of the tools they will need to survive in the world.  At this point, it helps to remember two things:

• It is the teenager’s role to push the limit, try new things, flounder, and yes, and attempt to drive us crazy.
• It is our responsibility, as their parents, to acquiesce.

While teaching our kids how to ride a bike, we ran alongside them methodically holding on.  Eventually, they peddled faster than we could run, and we had to release our hold.  We held our breath as they rode away from us teetering and wobbling, self-driven.

Our teenagers are back on that proverbial bike, learning how to “ride” independently through life.  We must become ambassadors between our two worlds, give credence to our teachings, and wait patiently for our children’s cognitive skills to ascend.  Invariably, they may stumble and fall, at this point in their lives, while we can still “catch” them.

Now is the time to step back and allow your son or daughter to shine by demonstrating that, although you find it improbable, they have, in fact, absorbed a great deal of what you have taught them as their methodology suggests.

My step dad used to say, “Remember, you are not tying to raise good kids, but rather, well-adjusted, independent, future contributing adults to society”.  By focusing on this, I am not overwhelmed by the little stuff…in fact; I see it as life’s ironies and laugh at it.  Consider the teen years as representing the chrysalis stage of a moth becoming a butterfly.  Embrace your teenagers for who they are and the amazing adults they are morphing into.