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The Gift of Fear
Written by: Gavin de Becker
Review by: Cindy Hanna
The Gift of Fear
Your Survival May Depend on Your Recognizing It
In his book The Gift of Fear, Gavin De Becker, one of the nation’s leading experts on violent behavior, empowers individuals to identify subtle signs of danger in their relationships, their work place and in their every day lives…before it is too late.
De Becker writes, “we are at a point in our evolution where life is less about predicting risks and more about controlling them. We all process a guardian that recognizes the presence of danger, warns us of risks, and, if we listen to it, guides us through risky situations.”
De Becker shows the reader how to detect and interpret the signals of danger accurately. He points out that, “There may be a time in your life when you won’t have the luxury of saying you didn’t recognize someone’s sinister intent. Your survival may depend on your recognizing it.”
Criminal behavior experts tell us that “monsters” don’t dwell in gothic dungeons; they walk amongst us in our malls, our schools, and on the streets in the towns and cities where we live. Gavin astutely explains that, “When we accept that violence is committed by people who look and act like ordinary people we silence the voice of denial, the voice that whispers ‘this guy doesn’t look like a killer.’” De Becker points out that each of us is an expert at predicting violent behavior and will ultimately keep ourselves safe if we act upon this knowledge.
People have been conditioned to ignore intuition for two reasons:
- They don’t want to appear rude or upset others.
- They don’t want to be ruled by fear.
Unfortunately, the results of improperly accessing the content of a threat have two
outcomes:
- Dormant violence is awakened and escalates.
- People get hurt.
De Becker teaches the reader how to compare reliability, importance, cost and
effectiveness (a process he refers o as the RICE Evaluation), in making daily decisions. He tells us that, “Intuition is just listening to nagging feelings, persistent thoughts, humor, wonder, anxiety, curiosity, hunches, gut feelings, doubt, hesitation, suspicion, apprehension and fear, while prediction is more like trying to solve the puzzle with logic.” People need to understand whether it is better to avoid appearing rude by incorrectly predicting risk, or to end up a victim by failing to act upon that prediction.
De Becker hopes that “with your intuition better informed… you will have less unwarranted fear of people.” He goes on to write, “I hope you’ll harness and respect your ability to recognize survival signals. Most importantly, I hope you’ll see hazard only in those storm clouds where it exists and live life more fully in the clear skies between them.”
De Becker’s work is exceptionally revealing with a good “recommended reading” section, an inclusive index, and seven appendices to aid the reader further. Upon completing this work, you will truly understand the difference between unsubstantiated paranoia and well-grounded apprehension – that might just save your life.
Help-giving resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
IMPACT (Full-contact self-defense training for women) 1-800-345-5425
Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America (215) 567-7000
Alanon Family Groups
(Help families affected b alcoholism) 1-800-344-2666
(In Canada) 1-800-443-4525
National Victim Center 1-800-FYI-CALL
Additional resources regarding predicting stalkers, angry employees, or abusive spouses can be obtained by contacting Gavin de Becker at:
www.gdbinc.com or by calling 1-800-993-6330